| Excerpts
from a Cat's Diary Day
752- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing
that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from
ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow, I may eat another house plant. Day
761- Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they
were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt
to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed. Day
765- Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make
them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Hmmm. Not
working according to plan. Day
768- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason, I was chosen
for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning, foamy chemical
called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only
consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. Day
771- There was some sort of gathering of accomplices. I was placed in solitary
confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly, I overheard
that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what
this is and how I can use it to my advantage. Day
774- I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly.
I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal
room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time... | 
